Hello friends!

Welcome to Friday. I have had a WEEK, let me tell you. This week saw me start bi-weekly sessions with a personal trainer, actually sign the paperwork for a move back to Hong Kong, and start planning regular blog content for the end of the year. I can hardly believe I’ve actually been so productive because my evenings have been spent trying to finish up Crypt of the Necrodancer, which is a game that’s easy to learn and difficult to master. It took me over 7 hours to get through zone 3 and I just wanted to tear my hair out until I finally beat King Conga. If anyone out there feels this very specific type of pain, I feel for you. Anyways, this Friday, I wanted to have a little chat about why I got a personal trainer and how I’m feeling after one week of training sessions.

Why I Got a Personal Trainer

That subtitle looks like it might as well be the title to it’s own post but there’s no big, huge reason for why I decided to start training with a PT. The simple reason is I want to look better. I got a PT so I can finally live out my Instagram thot dreams and have my idea of a my dream bod. I find it difficult to talk about this kind of stuff because numerically, I am other people’s ideal body size/shape/pants size, etc and I can recognise that pretty easily. I am not, however, other people, and to me I think I could be in much better shape - so in shape I am getting. The other thing that makes me fearful of talking about my body is that I don’t have any numbers in mind for my transformation, it’s purely aesthetic. To me, it doesn’t matter how big or small the number on my jeans is, it just matters that I’m working for the body that goes into them - I hope that makes sense.

How This First Week is Going

It’s fucking tough. I did a trial session on Saturday before my first “real” sessions this week and I not only almost had a panic attack, but I also threw up. This was a minor lesson in not having ciders with dinner and making sure to eat breakfast before hitting the gym. Now that I’m at the end of the week and my muscles are actually not as fatigued as they were, I feel great. I’m actually eager to go the gym and make sure I’m getting in my extra cardio sessions! I didn’t think I’d see the day that I’d be willing to go and do cardio on my own but I feel stronger, sleep better, and definitely feel less mentally drained on the day to day. My whole body is a little bit sore in places but it’s the good kind of sore that reminds me that I’m actually using my body and getting away from that sedentary lifestyle I had become so accustomed to.

A Numbers Game

At the moment, there is a big focus on “getting the number down” on the scale, which as we know is not that important to me, but since the initial session and a week of tracking, working out, and feeling better, I can see why it's helpful to put some importance on the numbers. I was super apprehensive to begin food tracking and what not because I feel like I am definitely the type to get wrapped up in making sure I'm eating the “right” amount of calories and not one calorie more. With anxiety and general perfectionism working against me, I thought I would get in over my head and develop bad habits from what is meant to be a good practice, but right now I'm doing pretty good. Knowing what I'm eating and how good it is for me is helping me be more mindful of what I'm actually reaching for if I'm in the mood for a snack - so instead of say, an entire bag of cheetos, I'll go for a ham sandwich, cheetos on the side. I'm doing my best to make sure I'm not going to bed hungry as well as reminding myself that food is fuel and if I want to keep upping how much weight I'm lifting, then I need to make sure that I have the energy to do it.

Progress Pics?

I’ve been debating taking progress pics for you all as time goes on but to be perfectly honest, I don’t want to. My progress pics are for me and as much as I want to inspire you with the transformation I will hopefully undergo, I’m hoping my words are enough for now. Also, progress pics are all well and good but everybody’s body reacts differently to things so part of me thinks they’re kind of useless and arguably a little fat-shamey, so I’m gonna keep my progress pics on my camera roll.

Let me know why you hit the gym and if you’d ever get a personal trainer. I always thought it was only for people who were prepping for a wedding or some kind of photographed event or for people who absolutely had to get one for health reasons, and yet, here I am living out my best life, hoping that eventually my legs will stop hurting after leg day.

Until next time,

・friday feelings・

listening to: Heaven by Los Lonely Boys and Opening Up from the Waitress Musical Soundtrack

watching: Safiya Nygaard's Hong Kong shopping video and dying to go home

reading: The Defining Decade by Meg Jay (it'll be done soon I swear)

playing: Crypt of the Necrodancer

feeling: strong, hungry for a ham sandwich, and like I can lift anyone and anything!