A friend of mine is currently going through a breakup and you know what? It’s fucking tough. She’s a tough cookie but I think breaking up is always going to be hard. It’s the emotional equivalent of getting kicked in the balls or punched in the boob. But as life goes, a lot of us have to go through it at some point. I found that the best way to start getting over your ex is to declutter your everyday life and just allow yourself some time to grieve. If you don’t know where to start with getting over your ex-boo, here’s a handy 5 step guide to get you going.

Step 1: Declutter your phone
In this day and age, it’s been said that a photo of you and your partner as your phone’s lock screen is the equivalent of keeping a photo in a locket. As ridiculous as I first found this comparison, I’ve found it to be very true. Mobile phones are now more than a phone, they’re an extension of who we are, what we do, and most importantly, who we actively engage with. Since you probably use your phone everyday, the first step to decluttering and relearning to be on your own, is to change the photo in your technological locket. Change your lock screen and get rid of the hearts next to their name in your contacts! Remove them from your speed dial! Delete those cute photos of you two in your camera roll (not without backing them up first, we’re not erasing their existence)! Delete or at least archive your Whatsapps and texts! If you can do all of this, it’ll help not be reminded of them every time you check your phone. 

Step 2: Declutter your laptop
Just as we use our phones everyday, I’m sure our computers place at a close second. As with the lock screen, change up that wallpaper! Now for the more weepy part, if you were heavily into documenting your relationship with photos and videos and screenshots of cute conversations and late night Skype calls, now is the time to create a new folder to store all that stuff in. Out of sight, out of mind, but not forgotten. 

Step 3: Update your social media
If you were ever Facebook official or had your relationship status set to “in a relationship”, instead of changing it to “single”, make it unavailable for your friends to see. This will ensure that far less attention is brought to your break up and will leave you without the hundreds of messages flowing in checking to see if you’re okay (when they’re really asking how it happened, why it happened, and whether or not either of you are DTF.) And, of course change your profile pictures across your social media accounts if it’s one of the two of you. If you’ve got a profile picture that will potentially remind you of your ex, and you know that just the thought of them will enable the water works or start a pity party, then maybe change that one too. 

Step 4: Reorganise your bedroom and/or house
Firstly, take all your framed couple photos and valentine’s and birthday gifts from them and find yourself a storage box. Put everything in there, then put that box in storage and then forget about it for a while. Like I said before, out of sight, out of mind. While you’re clearing up those everyday reminders of your relationship, this could also be a great time to redecorate your space and make it more you. Changing up your everyday space might also help you feel as if you’re in a new place and therefore not constantly remind you your ex. 

Step 5: Give it time
Lastly, give yourself time. Give yourself time to be sad about the break up. What you and this person shared was special and it’s okay to be bummed out about it. Hell, watch a romcom, eat some ice cream and have a good cry. There’s nothing wrong with grieving a loss. Give yourself time to enjoy the things that are making you happy. It may feel like you deserve to be under a dark storm cloud for the rest of your life, but if a ray of sunshine breaks through, enjoy it. Sooner or later, you won’t even remember the days that the cloud was even around. Give yourself time to recover from what’s happened, because as the saying goes, time heals all wounds. Even the ones that you can’t see.